The U Rule

Every morning when I arrive at work, I hit the teacher bathroom. As I was saying in a previous blog, drinking water is not something to take for granted as a teacher locked in a room most the day. I hydrate as much as I can on the way to school, and then the way home. Bathroom breaks are mindfully timed and if a teacher ever acts like they don't have time to talk to you when you come to school and intercept them during recess, you can guess where their headed.
Someone was kind enough to put up an inspirational poster in our teacher bathroom this year. It's one of those "A-B-C's" of living good, with a saying that begins with each letter of the alphabet. I've been memorizing it as it sits right across from where I sit. A is for Always follow your dream, B is for Be the best person you can be...simple enough rules to read quickly and then get on with your day.
I decided these would be the kind of rules I could have my students write down each morning and reflect on-this could a good way to open the day and we could all journal our thoughts as we wrote the goal and "rule" of the day. Yesterday was U day. U was for "Understand yourself so you can understand others better."
What a great rule. We discussed this a little bit and I could tell it was a real revelation for most of the fifth graders. "What? I don't already understand myself?" So how do I begin to understand myself?"
 It took awhile to get down to the bottom line-understanding comes with mindfulness. Watching what you do and how you react will help you understand yourself and maybe be able to practice a little tolerance with others, who could also use a dose of understanding.
That morning two boys who do not get along began to fight. I asked them to come into the room with their lunch so we three could talk. One had been picking on the other all year. "Remember the U rule," I said. "Let's see if we can understand what's going on here."
One of the boys, from a privileged family, didn't like the way the other boy looked at him. "He's always mad, he frowns, he looks angry all the time-he bothers me." The other boy, from a poor home with a single Mom, was surprised at this. He wasn't aware of his dark moods and expressions. I asked him to share with us what his home life was like. It was pretty dismal. When he was done explaining how their are three kids in the family, all with different fathers, and the circumstances of being beat up at home almost daily by two older half-brothers who called him fatty, a dad deported to Mexico and a Mom who chain-smoked and yelled a lot, I began to wonder how this boy could even make it to school everyday and smile as much as he did. "Does it help to hear his story?," I asked the privileged boy.  He was equally amazed at the other boy's sad life. "I don't think I could live like that. " he told him. The other boy said he often comes to school even when sick because it's better than home.
I asked the two boys if they could help me with come classroom chores. They worked together and chatted about a mutual love of chess. Both boys are very smart, but one has an easy life and the other doesn't. When lunch hour was over, they were friends, I kid you not.
"Do you understand each other better? Does it help to understand yourself first?"
You can guess what they said.
So I've taken this lesson to my own heart. Why do I make unhealthy choices? Do I understand myself better since starting this blog-I thought at 59 I knew myself well, but I'm learning more each day.

High Five for H2O

A few blogs back, I decided to experiment with the 5x's a day rule-do something five times a day everyday and it probably will become a part of your daily routine. Hopefully you pick something good for your life to do 5 times a day. I picked fruit. I had in the past picked coffee, unconsciously that is, grabbing and making a cup whenever I had the chance. The fruit habit it paying off. My fridge is blossoming with fruit salad and melons cut in half. The counter has a colorful array of bananas and papayas and mangos. Is avocado a fruit? We have a bowl of those next to a bowl of tangerines. Right now, after swimming, I am sipping a fruit smoothie made of peaches, strawberries and cantaloupe - instead of the usual "stop by Starbuck's drive-through and get a mocha light frapaccino"-not only a waste of money, but an empty drink with no nutritional value. I am now so pleased with my progress in  setting a goal and keeping it that I've been trying to think of another one that is good for me, easy to do and will boost me along my quest for health and balance.
So here it is-my next task-and it's something that may seem so easy and a no brainer that you'll wonder what kind of a nut I am-but as my brother has said in chatting about this blog with me, "set the bar lower!" So Jim, this is for you! I am going to try to drink water five times a day. This seems superficially to be an easy goal for most, but really, think about how many times you thoughtfully drank today nothing but a glass of pure, simple water. Not as tea, coffee, or a juice either-just plain water.
As a teacher, we seldom get out of our classroom during the day to do that. I don't have a sink and water access in my room, so I rely on bringing a container of water with me daily. Teachers also cannot access a bathroom when they want-you can't waltz out on a classroom of students anytime you need to use the bathroom.  So we tend to not drink during the day, which can lead to dehydration issues-and maybe cravings for the wrong thing mistaking the bodies hunger for water.
I once read that Americans, with all our fancy energy drinks, soft drinks, gourmet drinks and flavored drinks of choice, are a seriously dehydrated group. There are multiple web sites about this and one said it is the basic reason why there is so much obesity in America. Can drinking water mindfully be one of the key ingredients to a healthy and well-balance life?
I'm going to try it 5 x's a day-and report back in a week!

Sunday-a Day of Rest (Maybe!)

When Life changes, self-judgement comes up in new forms, and I find this very intriguing. The goal to blog daily about trying to bring zen into my life, to live each day aware and awake, from what I put into my mouth and what I do, is a change. And the self-judging has followed. That's reminded me of how I used to do a metta for loving kindness. A metta is like a Buddhist prayer, but instead of directed to a larger being out there somewhere, normally called God, the Buddhist send those prayers or metta out with your breath to all beings, including yourself. So this metta goes something like this: May all beings be happy, may all beings have no suffering, may they be free of any suffering, may they enjoy the roots of happiness." Simple. But the key is, you have to offer it to yourself and really, really believe that, Buddha said, before you can offer that metta to others, you have to believe you also deserve it.
So you say "I" a lot, and not feel self-doubt, selfishness, or self-hate talk in doing this.
I was reading a book review by an author who is a famous yoga instructor- Cyndi Lee. She just put out a book called "May I Be Happy: A Memoir of Love, Yoga, and Changing My Mind."
"Bingo!" I thought, someone else who has been and still is on this path to make your life a better path to health and happiness. And I put her several levels above me because she's a revered yoga teacher. Reading the long review I am shocked to learn Cyndi Lee, yoga guru, has a long problem with hatred of her body.  She has suffered her whole life with a variety of eating disorders. She wrote the book as a testament that even yoga gurus have demons within, and she like any mortal human does daily battle with hers to keep her mind in a healthy space.
That really impressed me! So when you/I say we are going to try and do the right thing, I guess we have to say that all the time, forever. That's right. And maybe that's it. Do we have to do the right thing every single day in order to alleviate suffering and the consequences of not doing the right thing from our lives? Is there no "it's a free day, go forth and eat all the donuts and drink all the wine and gossip all you want and sit on the couch and watch episode after episode of Battlestar Galactica -" because you deserve it? What? I think I am getting this. Of course you will pay the consequences of choices, over and over.
So today, day 7, I will continue to try and do the right thing. With compassion to myself for any personal failings.
And I think I am going to order that book by Cyndi Lee!

A photo from a Buddhist temple that I took in Sri Lanka "When you practice compassion, you are first compassionate to yourself, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding, especially when confronted with personal failings"

Ugh-Day 6-It Gets Hard!

Why would getting up at 5:30 am in order to write on my blog and set my intention for the day be that hard? Why would packing 5 pieces of fruit in my lunch bag prove challenging? Why does trying to do 5 sun salutations a day and write down my day's intentions with my students make me weary?

I think on this, day 6, I have hit a crux in this attempt at bringing the yogi home. I am just tired of it! I want to eat a grilled cheese sandwich and have a beer, I want to watch 3 Battlestar Galactica episodes in a row and not clean house, and I want to have some of that Costco cake I brought home from the Mother's Day Tea while I watch  those BSG episodes. It is actually stressing me out to think about the right thing to do versus what my weary "it's Friday" brain is telling me to do!

Then I got this email from my wonderful nephew, Joe. Joe is bringing the yogi home for himself, and he has been for quite awhile. He is transforming himself into a yogi one day at a time through healthy living, yoga classes and mindfulness. Here's what he wrote to me today:

"Hi Jan. Ive been learning about stress and how bad it is for us. They teach that in my studio. My instructor says that the root of all disease is stress. My outlook on stress these days is why worry if I can't do anything about it.  Nothings good. Nothings bad. Pleasure. Pain. It's all the same and will come to pass. Enjoy it while its here knowing it won't last forever. Good or bad. Water off the ducks back.

   I often look back on situations I perceived as stressful  and wonder why I was so stressed out.  Regardless of the circumstances  I always try to avoid anxiety. I have absolute faith deep within my soul that I'm on a good positive course in life and do not worry about the exact place it will lead to, just enjoy the ride. Much love aunty , namaste."

Isn't that wonderful? My nephew in his wisdom made me wake up from my "I want, I want" whining like I was a little child. I know what's good for me, and I know what I need to eat and drink to be healthy and it really isn't that hard! 

Excuse me please while I go throw out that Costco cake. I not need to make that a stressful thing in my life-I don't need to stress over this, but just enjoy the ride!

Thanks Joe!

5 Times Is A Charm

They say if you repeat something 5 times, it will stick-well, maybe it will start to become a habit, then repeat again. Muslims pray five times a day, Buddhist monks chant many many times a day. Other cultures and traditions repeat a pattern to gain some sort of enlightenment and to "stay the path." So on Day 5 of yogi in training, I am going to try doing something good for me 5 times a day. I've been doing a certain yoga pose 5 times a day-today it will be eating fruit. EVeryone says eating more fruit will change your health habits for the better-what if you consciously ate a piece of fruit 5 times a day? This may be a "duh" for those of you who already have this habit. For me, a worker bee, I tend to grab what's near my desk or in the teacher's lounge when hunger happens. This morning I'm loading up on fruits-thankfully we have a good supply on our kitchen counter-catelope, strawberries, an apple, and banana-a pear. I've never been so excited about a day!

To Coffee or Not Coffee

I've often wondered if coffee is the culprit to my achieving a harmonious balance in my life. Or I am just looking for an easy target to blame all my health issues on. I've been late for carpooling because I have to stop for coffee, or I've ruined a good outfit because of dribbling coffee. The need for a hot drink when I first get up seems as much a habit as a pirate needing his grog and a smoke first thing in the morning. If I woke up and mediated first, would I still need coffee? Do I need to give up coffee in my life-will it make it better?
A friend told me I should go back to hot yoga to cure my sore hips. I was showing her how I can't sit cross-legged anymore, but try to work on it by sitting in cow pose and painfully rocking back and forth on my sit bones to loosen up. "Bikrim yoga is what you need-the hot air will loosen your muscles and allow you to stretch them easier." I know this is true-I was a Bikrim fanatic for two years. I never felt better. I drank copious amounts of water all day before a class. I watched what I ate because if you're doing Bikrim, you don't want your food to come up during class. I made it a routine to go about 3 x a week to hot yoga, and I sweated like I've never sweat before.
But then I stopped. Why is it so hard to keep up the routines and practices we know are good for us? Bikrim, or any type yoga done correctly is a commitment of at least one and a half hours a day. Add in the dressing, undressing, drive to and fro and you've made a 2 hour plus commitment from your day to that activity. Working full time, that can be a precious chunk of time.
Getting up earlier to set my intentions, cook a healthy breakfast, make a healthy lunch, think of my days' goals has been a good start. I' am considering how to get back to Bikrim.I know it will be good for me, and that's what I'm all about at this point. What is good and balanced for life?

Day Three-A Wrap Up

Today was a hard day because I just couldn't raise my head off the pillow. I had no time to blog and set my goals before work.  It seemed the cold virus that was infecting so many of my students had come home to roost in my head.
At school, I journaled with my students. "How are you feeling this morning, on a scale of 1-10," I asked them. We made a note about that in our journals, I wrote a "7"-the cold was taking hold and I just wanted to get back to sleep. So many of my students looked weary and tired as well. I asked them next to write 1-2 goals for the day. "I'm going to make a new friend," Isaac shared with us. Another said she was going to try her best on the days' test. Hector said he would try to be quieter in class (he's a chronic talker). I wrote 5 goals-eat fruit, do 5 sun salutations, remind my students to perform at the best of their ability today, smile, and listen to my coworkers. I then led the class in the first of my 5 sun salutations, and marveled at how out of breath it made them, these children who were about 50 years younger than I am !
At the end of the day, I went over my goals with my students. Isaac did make a new friend, and Hector thought he did a lot better in class than he usually does. I had done 4 sun salutations by this time, and ate a fruit salad for lunch. I was still feeling the effects of getting a cold, but I knew I could go on with the day in pleasant spirits despite it.
I am feeling that this blog and setting intentions is working. Just acknowledging that I was a "7" today instead of my usual "10" put me in touch with how I was feeling physically. That being in touch with self is making an effect on me for sure. I would love to hear how anyone else is finding setting intentions at the beginning of the day helps them.